Inhaling deeply

“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armor, like armor that imprisons the softness of of the heart.”
― Pema ChödrönWhen Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

lost
particles of sorrow
have besieged this day,
skies filled with mourning,
and squalls of murky grey.

gulping raw emotions,
my misery contains,
a deluge of echoes,
with a soulful refrain.

impressions of songbirds,
don’t infiltrate this tomb,
i’m cast by bleak memories,
and shadowy gloom.

held captive by tempests
of unbearable grief,
reclining insensate,
by poignant disbelief!

swallowed by the darkness
of a nebulous trance,
my intense afflictions,
plunge into mournful dance.

to wake upon the morrow,
when storms
have come to pass,
and be freed from the quagmire
of this wretched morass!

but until
i’ve inhaled deeply,
of grief’s noble desires,
my heart will not soften
or quench yearning’s fire!

Advertisements

Loved beyond measure

“May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder. ”
― John O’DonohueEternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong

loved beyond measure

go to the forest,
and shout out your despair
lay down your assumptions
become more aware!
in diaphanous pleasures, hum like busy bees,
these vibrations
will move you
gently with the breeze!

the flowers will delight,
to listen
to your prayers,
the motion of the wind, will blow away your fears!

let the oceans ferry you,
to where
hope resides,
and spill frothy pleasures, where seagulls are your guide!

the sands of time
will call you,
and give rhythm to your name,
stars will illuminate pathways,
while heaven proclaims..

“you were made in Divine likeness,
and given flawless form,
loved beyond measure, and so wonderfully adorned!”

Photograph by David Herman

Cracked open

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
― Leonard CohenSelected Poems, 1956-1968

the moon

In a stream of consciousness,
I’m shielded
by boundless light.
I feel the cosmos listening,
restoring me to bright!

The heartache
is emblazoned,
on dark parts of my being.
I ask for signs and wonders,
to life’s essential meaning!

I’ve heard the call at midnight,
and sensed
your tender voice.
Life has cracked me open,
with angels I still rejoice!
In each dazzling particle,
there’s a
luminescent glow.
A benevolent force that guides me,
into sanctuaries unknown!

The moon distills resentment,
with her soft alluring face.
Though raging storms
discourage me,
I’m hidden in perfect grace!

The tide threatens
to subjugate me,
into fear I descend,
in catastrophic waters,
desolation without end!

I press into affliction,
allowing tears to stream,
enduring suffering,
to pursue
enlightened dreams!

My breath rasps within me,
I’m lost
without your form.
Though in this deafening silence,
I’m safe in tragedy’s storm!

And when I’m found immortal,
in everlasting life,
God’s love will transfigure me,
no tears
will sting my eyes!

The Valley of Desolation

“We need time to move through the pain of loss. We need to step into it, really to get to know it, in order to learn”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

parched land

Every year I watch families come together
for the festive season,
and each time it becomes more excruciating
than the last.
Maybe a series of bad choices
has brought me to this valley
of desolation,
a place where scarecrows
come to
feast on my bones!

I step into the black tar
of bitterness
and ask why?
Why should I be dealt such a bad hand as this?
Like a wave consuming me
I’m taken into the depths,
swallowed
by the stench of my own pity.

Peering up through a distorted lens,
through the murky layers
of water,
in sightless trance,
I’m mesmerised.

I can’t see the sun,
or the crescent moon.
I’m concealed in the depths
and darkness has trapped me,
beneath the bright light
of awareness.

I long to be comforted,
but how,
when I am so lost,
so far from home,
and ruin stands outside my door!

In this unwelcome habitat,
I want to hide from all truth,
and just taste the
sweet nectar of heaven.

If I come to the surface too suddenly,
and see reality for what it is,
I may just evaporate
into a million particles
and disappear
into a timeless void.

I may become suffocated by this dreadful wound,
and it may bleed out into oceans of despair.

So for now
I will let docile waters
of unknowing comfort me,
and lull me into sweet oblivion.
I will let fragrant moments,
and lilies of the valley
be my sun
and my moon.
I won’t look too hard into
the place
where pain debilitates me,
until I’m ready.

Instead, I will let waters of silence wash over me,
with the promise of eternity
in my eyes,
and tender zephyrs of abiding love
will touch my weakened form.

I do not belong to a world
where there is no pain,
so what hope is there for me?
Should I starve myself of life
and become a nonentity,
a vagabond,
on waterless wastelands?

This wound will heal,
I know,
but I must protect myself from harm,
until the pain is not longer agonizing to the touch,
until fields of joy entice me back.

I must immerse myself
in the present moment.
and face this grief with tenderness,
so that I can gently rise
into acceptance
and understanding!

I must rest in the knowledge
that I can belong again
to this race called human!

 

Yesterday…….

A miracle is a shift in perception, from fear to love…
― Marianne Williamson

fairies 1

yesterday,
i wanted to run away,
to keep my broken heart at bay.

never to be heard of again,
to let this be
my journey’s end!

to live in forests of evergreen,
liberate my life,
so bitter-sweet.

i’d play with fairies all day long,
and they would know lamentation songs.

i’d let cicadas deafen my ears,
and forest pools would
contain my tears!

i’d call out
your name,
in echoing tones,
and feel the resonance
of the whole earth groan!

i’d breathe the air of tranquility,
and put on robes of nobility!

then, i’d slumber on moss green floors
and feel my aspect,
being restored.

my bones would crumble to the earth,
in homage of my soul’s rebirth….

Ocean of tears

“Our death is our wedding with eternity.”
― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi

ocean of tears

i’ve swum in an ocean
of my tears,
i’ve faced the worst,
entombed by fear.

i’ve clung to love,
and held lost dreams,
i’ve searched the night
for transclucent beams.

i’ve known Your presence
in darkened void,
embraced by grace
though hope destroyed!

and as I slowly return to life,
I’m drenched in the fragrance of the Divine!