Posted in Joke, NaPoWriMo...30 poems in 30 days!

McGreedy Shmoozer

Day fifteen…
A twist in the tale of Red Riding Hood….

a red riding hood
Hyped to bail the urban hood,
Red took a track
through creepy woods.
All decked out in her scarlet hoody.
She met a Wolf,
he was kinda spooky!
“Yo Red, I’m shak’n the bushes
for Grammy’s crib?”
He bamboozled her,
with his bodacious fibs!

Red kinda freaked at Grammy’s cottage;
this hairy dude
had Grammy in the closet.
He” hoodwinked” her,
with his sleazy charm,
he chowed tender Earthlings
like stavin marvin!
For real, Woody pitched with his skeery axe,
“Hacked to bits”,
Fox News tweeted the facts.

Our Woody wacked Wolf quite a shot,
comatose he lost the plot.
Then he jetlegged to the pearly gates
“yo dude, best believe,
it’s a piece of cake”
Heaven’s for real,
he was shooting the breeze,
by his audacious sleaze.

In the sweet hereafter
he was having a blast,
but he recken’d warm and fuzzies
couldn’t last.
Mountain dew* flashed before his eyes,
for Archangel Gab,
he had no appetite!
He hooked up with this humongous Dude,
and kudos to Wolf,
greens were his fav food.
and kitted out
in garbs of the dead
he took a selfie in celestial threads.
“A kickass wolf” said no one ever,
this skeeming dude had a serious shiver!

so woke in grandmas crib,
in the twilight saga, Wolves are really hip.
This greedy guzzler
was a collosal creep;
he began chowing down
on lank cool peeps
Yo epic fail,
what a ginormous loser
Red kicked him to the curb
Mcgreedy shmoozer!

ted 2

*The essence of his life

poetry month

Posted in Joke

This all sounds like nonsense


“Life is far from easy” said the Hippo to the bear,
“I just feel like giving up, and live life without a care!”
And in the concrete jungle he could see that pensive stare.
“I’m tired of going shopping to buy long underwear,
why can’t we just sit around and act like zillionaires?”
“We could talk about cornflakes and cooking in earthen ware
and we wouldn’t even need to use our good tableware,
because we’d be dining on cucumbers and prickly pears!”
The bear said to the Hippo “That really is unfair,
I’d prefer to live in the undergrowth, and say I’m from elsewhere
though I don’t mind pretending that we’ve been to Piccadilly square!”
“We could say that we were very posh and went on Iceland Air!”
Then the Hippo shoved Bradley, and gave him quite a glare
and told him to take a flight on a wing and a prayer!
“But really Harry, I’d like to go to the stylist and cut my unruly hair,
can we afford margaritas on the beach in Delaware?”
Harry said “this is nonsense” and went to play solitaire,
“we should go to the magistrate and sign up for welfare!”

image courtesy of Pixabay

Posted in Joke


ted 2
Grandma poorly, for goodness sake!
Mother yelled “take her plonk and cake”.
“Does she think she’s Marie Antoinette?”
I kinda mused….but then I digress.
Hyped to bail the urban hood,
I took a track through creepy woods.
All decked out in my scarlet hoody.
I met this Wolf, he was sort of kooky!
He asked me the way to Grandma’s crib,
what can I say, he was really “ripped”!
I kinda freaked out at Grammy’s cottage;
the hairy dude had her in the closet.
He” hoodwinked” me, with his macho charm,
I eyeballed his incisors, and sounded the alarm!
Hey Bra, what’s it with wolves these days?
Maybe it’s a weird girlie craze!
I got that uncanny twilight feel,
like “off my rocker”,  kinda surreal!
For real, Woody turned up with his mighty axe,
hey Bra, we pleaded the fifth….
Yeah, that’s a wrap!


Posted in Joke

Sunday silliness


The media is in quite a frenzy.
Their panties are all in a bunch.
Trying to see who’s the worst dressed,
and what they had for lunch.

They must have camped out for hours
waiting for gossipy news.
Personages gyrating awkwardly,
while the big wigs are having a schmooze.

A blue dress from Harry Potter’s wardrobe
are they just looking for a laugh?
Body language and people’s expressions
being analyzed in the aftermath!

Twitter is abuzz with opinions
and investigators trying to find truth.
Have we lost all sense of decorum
the age of the Nouveau uncouth?

Perhaps it’s all just a huge joke
and the clowns will soon go out.
Those prickly, pity parties
and the polls that make them all pout!