I recently took a trip to Gqeberha (formerly Port Elizabeth) There had been a fire in the forest nearby, so the road was quite hazy. We stopped at our usual place for coffee with a view of Storm’s River bridge….
we were delighted to have the company of birds and a cat drinking out of the stone bird bath..
With a friend I discovered an amazing Art Gallery in Gqeberha, where they use the barter system. I could pin a note to a painting I loved requesting an exchange for something of equal value, and the artist could decide if it was something they need…
ArtEC“We are pure” by Sanelisiwe Singaphi
Our next stop was the main gallery where we found a treasure trove of different pieces…
I especially loved these photos entitled “Joy”
I also loved the old buildings in the area and the post box that has almost become a collector’s item…
“I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief… For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.” ― Wendell Berry, The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry
When weariness grows heavy and the world seems strange, I return to the sounds of a placid exchange…
where lanky birds glide over glittering sands, accustomed to the magic that makes no demands….
beauty shimmers in the vastness of the skies, and joy is unfurled right before my eyes.
the bright waters echo to gentle waves, and chaos is muted by a hush of praise!
This is a poem I wrote a year ago and I have reworked it a bit. The weariness remains heavy at times, until I rest in the grace of the world.
“Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.” ― Mary Oliver, Evidence: Poems
My eyes melted into joyous skies I felt the movement of graceful lines
Absorbed by sounds of happy coots I let unease quietly diffuse
And I breathed in the memory of sunnier days alive in the bloodstream of organic praise basking in the glow of spoken prayer I broke the silence of my despair…
“All day, all night, now I can’t hide Said I knew myself but I guess I lied” -Nightbirde
You’ve woven tapestries in my mind, broken images you left behind, scattered impressions bubble over, negatives that require exposure…
some are fighting for their lives but you decided to go and we’re all caught in the tragedy of this overflow…
but it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay if you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright
Because my friend took her life, I’ve had to dig deep down to forgive myself for not doing enough. It feels like a trauma I have to revisit every day, the hurting doesn’t go away easily…
”We arrive at this place. It does not have to be complicated. Our priority is to look after ourselves but, in doing so, to get over ourselves. Having been seen, heard and gotten, we turn towards the point of just listening. Listening to the sounds of our body, to the sound of our inscape. In the stillness, we see a light emerging.” -Rick Frame
I’ll just keep scribbling stories between sighs, and dance with the magic before my eyes…
when the day’s over and my breath is at rest, I’ll listen to inscapes of wondrousness…
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. [Matt 5:4]”
I feel as though I have landed in a terrible place of sorrow again, my body aches with it, but I’m letting it be….
Two friends of mine have passed away within a month, and not from covid… It’s a heavy toll. I wonder sometimes how much grief one can bear in this life, does it accumulate? Does the heaviness stay in our bones and bleed out when triggered? Circumstances surrounding the death can be a catalyst for the most terrible kind of sadness, like when someone decides that they can’t live on this earth plain anymore.
I have watched for three and a half years as people lose children in many different ways, be it by still-birth, suicide, cancer and a multitude of other reasons. It seems by far the worst kind of loss, and it can be made more complicated by so many factors.
With a beautiful support group, and being able to share my worst pain ever, I am able to see light and to even to touch it. I have been able to bring myself into a place of serenity and beauty, and to see those departed souls as perfectly exquisite beings of light.
It took time though and intention to find my way out of the most awful heaviness. Sometimes it takes bearing my soul, speaking out my regrets and even reaching down into the heart-break, At times it takes letting my heart be completely ripped to shreds. I cannot hold this kind of sorrow inside me, I would not be honoring those who are no longer here, if I did, nor would I be showing myself loving-kindness.
You don’t just get over it, so, right now, I’m holding a space for mourning, for sitting in the pain.
I realize how hard it is to be here on this earth right now, especially in these times, when so many lives have been impacted in different ways. It has separated many and being isolated brings an even greater intensity of sadness… a profound grief.
The trace of those who have touched our lives, the substance of them lingers forever locked away in our hearts, until one day we see them again, in their wholeness… In the last year there have been many losses and not just because of covid. It’s as though there is “a checking out” of many humans.
I vow to keep the faith, love as much as is humanly possible and always be ever so gentle with myself and others…
and keep watch for the beauty that surrounds me, even when it is hidden in dark places!
“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” ― Pema Chödrön
The sky speaks to me in shades of light holding my attention a wondrous sight. It is the miracle of all who breathe, a light that dances for those who believe. Infused with a magic that never ends In vivid colors that wildly blend. a canopy that cradles the universe sacred chapters of spoken verse…
AllysoAlly 