*Swartvlei

“There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”
– Morpheus

I’ve been away
gone astray
down the rabbit hole…

Can’t say why
though I’ll venture to try
it’s a complicated thing…

the multiverse is full of traps
and paths where one goes adrift

I promise I wasn’t on vacation
it was merely a quantum shift!

Like a worm in a pupa
endeavoring to fly
up through the cosmos
into open skies…

I had a little brain freeze
my calls were put on hold,
there was no kind of warning
it couldn’t have been foretold!

Similar to Neo in the matrix
needing a wakeup call,
a series of epiphanies
a nonsensical fall…

It’s a road less travelled with barely a seeker’s guide,
I had found a place of safety
a place to quietly hide…
(or so I thought)

I’ll scribble again with the lords of time and set my mind to jot down some rhymes..

The sky will be my limit
as I try to get back on track,
muster the strength to speak again
and not be quite so slack!!

but I can’t promise anything, this is just an unfolding
flying is harder than you think……. 😉

*Swartvlei translated means black swamp

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Finding my way back…

“I am a pencil in the hand of God, writing a love letter to the world.”
– Anonymous

Someone once, in a forest asked me what my superpower was,
and I’ve pondered it for some time.

The real me, not the fake part that wants to look good on the outside.
It’s the squishy part that moves my waters,
that squeezes the tears from my eyes,
the part overwritten with holiness, where my true treasure is found.

I can doll myself up and wear fancy clothes.
I can smudge my eyes with makeup and pose in very soft light,
but inside me, there’s a light that can never be extinguished,
it’s my soul’s light.
If you close your eyes very tightly even on the darkest night
you will still be able to see that inner light
It dances, it sees, it feels, it loves, it hears, it touches, and it has a joyful presence.

Lately, I had the wind knocked out of me literally. (a long story)
It’s taken a while to find my way back, without faking a smile.

And I’m returning to my superpower,
deep in the depths, I searched my heart to find it.
It’s pretty hard to find beneath the facade,
you know that “little me” that needs acceptance and love.

It’s the part of me that doesn’t really need accolades or approval
because I know all around me there’s a crowd of witnesses,
be it my ancestors, my son, or the angels.
They all fully approve of me because when they look upon me
they only see my inner light, they don’t see the jagged edges of my form
or my ego.

We are all perfect in God’s sight, that is the God of our understanding,
not the god made up by man.
Maybe it’s the universe in perfect union that colors our lives,
or nature’s wonderful gift that keeps on giving.

If you look ever so closely with the eyes of your heart
you will see a soul light in every single earthling…

©AllysoAlly2022

The sun still shines and the rain is still gentle!

“Language is like a cracked kettle
on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to,
while all the time we long to move the stars to pity…”
― Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

It’s been a long absence
a departing
a tomb of silence
a soul recharging…

The wind was never at my back
when cheery pathways
turned pitch-black
and the road never rose up to greet me
in realms of colliding debris…

and sorrow flowed into dark places
unwelcome thoughts
unforgiving spaces…

I was lost in lands of unknowing
yet at a distance hope was floating,
and I searched unceasingly for truth
like a nameless-undercover sleuth…

All around me I heard the voices
spreading lies
peddling poisons,
I’m still not sure who to trust
will the darkness ever readjust?

There’ve been many losses along the way
roads-less-travelled
I dare not take,
heartsore memories that still plague me
countless traumas that still break me…

But the sun still shines
and the rain is still gentle
and with light-beings
I still assemble!

beauty and joy are easily harnessed
when I surrender to this fleeting darkness…

©AllysoAlly2022

I have found myself absent from my very own life,
just putting one foot in front of the other,
waiting for the world to change...

Known…

Sometimes I feel unseen,
not like the sky,
more like the breeze…

Though some may pass me by,
and I know I’m kinda shy,
but the trees have memorized
my name,
when they stand in homage
I am unashamed…

And I feel like a beauty queen,
among the flowers
and the evergreens…

I’m an artist of lighter moods,
an introvert
with attitude…

In the company of foliage
I’m known,
fluent in color
I am overgrown…

©AllysoAlly2022

Joyfully made

“You are not too old
and it is not too late
to dive into your increasing depths
where life calmly gives out
its own secret.”
― Rilke

I was a blank canvas
of love and fear
and God painted me tenderly
with his own tears

the moon rose in my sorrow
and I heard a great applause
and in a holy moment, I knew I was adored

by the colors of sunset
by the forests and the lakes
for they proclaimed me worthy
and joyfully made…

©AllysoAlly2022

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine what it’s like
for your child to die,
to become as exquisite as the bluest skies?

To learn to sing again in-tune,
to be present at the new moon,
to watch the tides when they come to shore,
and be at peace forevermore?

Can you imagine what is to fly,
to be able to see
without eyes,
to shed tears no more,
and join heaven’s encore?

Can you imagine what it is to transcend,
to become the joy
that never ends,
to let love be your eternal guide,
and exist where awakened ones reside…

I’ve felt the rush of eternity,
in realms of grace
that set me free…

I have seen him in rainbow skies,
in higher octaves
of paradise!

I began to write sad words and then they became beautiful..

©AllysoAlly2022

Crazy mixed-up kid…

I grew up in a very boring intellectual family
and never really fitted in.
I even wondered if I was adopted at one point,
but I just look too much like them.
I force them sometimes to wear pink wigs and afros.
(Yes I still have a dressing up box at this age)
We all laugh until we cry, in spite of their hesitation.
It’s my role in the family to be the crazy mixed-up kid,
and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

C’est la vie!

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”
― Rumi, The Essential Rumi

Bitterness creeps like a dark thing
clutching my heart,
making me question my circumstances
My plight
My God…

I can see it now
covering the corners of my vision,
seeking to torment me
and blind me
to the beauty of the everyday…

To be discontented
and grumble about my life.

When envy grows
I am resentful
so I must exhume it
from my body,
before its tentacles spread out
and poison my heart.

I speak out it’s malice
and like an unholy black mist
it evaporates
into the ether.

And because it’s been here before
I recognize its path of destruction,
like a hurricane blowing through,
leaving me vulnerable to its elements.

I know it’s serpentine nature
creeping up on me,
dropping thoughts into my mind,
putting bitter words into my heart,
when I’m most vulnerable,
when my body is weak,
when I can’t see a hopeful future,
and the days are just too long!

I know I must nip it in the bud
and snuff it out
before it takes hold!

And then to cover my shame

I let love in

I let it wash over me
in colors of the rainbow,
in the tempo of the skies,
with the harmony of all my senses.

And the lilies of the fields
remind me
of how brightly arrayed I am,
the birds of the air
inform me
that I am loved beyond measure…

And then I await the arrival of butterflies…

©AllysoAlly2021

It’s okay…

“All day, all night, now I can’t hide
Said I knew myself but I guess I lied”
-Nightbirde

You’ve woven tapestries
in my mind,
broken images
you left behind,
scattered
impressions
bubble over,
negatives
that require exposure…

some are fighting for their lives but you decided to go
and we’re all caught in the tragedy of this overflow…

but it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
if you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright

Because my friend took her life, I’ve had to dig deep down
to forgive myself for not doing enough.
It feels like a trauma I have to revisit every day,
the hurting doesn’t go away easily…

©AllysoAlly2021

This girl is so incredibly brave!

Welcome the night…

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi

Day 20 & 21…
I’ve proved to myself that trying to write a poem everyday from a prompt turns me into a machine. I can’t feel any flow, and I’m dead in the water.
Sometimes I need a few days to re-group, because I lose momentum, otherwise I find myself writing drivel from an empty place and it feels meaningless,
and right now I need meaning in my life.
I know that I have not been drinking enough Earth nectar lately or living in the moment. I’m caught up in the hustle of life and I’ve been filling my mind with defeat.
Dust is gathering in the corners.
Down time is sacred to me, and it reminds me not to try and be someone I’m not.
It feels like I’m going against the grain and you know what that leads to… burn out!
I am not an intellectual, I rather feel my way around things before I think them through.
I don’t feel like I’m on the page anymore, this stone has no more blood in it.
I need some meaty stuff to get me through the day, maybe it’s just the place I’m in right now?

I feel as though I’m scratching for words in the dark,
making up lines and syllables,
meaningless drivel smudges the pages of my life.
I’m a human watcher, a human lover,
I love the nuances of humans, even their struggles make them more human!
When I’m not my true-self it’s like a mist forming over everything
preventing me from seeing the beautiful undiluted images of self.
Scratching down non-descript words,
searching in the archives of an empty vault,
I feel as though I’m losing my sense of purpose,
What am I here for?
and the Sage said to me
“I have worked out that our only job is to be here
and to welcome the night”, so that’s what I’m doing.
For the full story read here..

https://schoolofblue.wordpress.com/2021/04/21/everything/

Two days have now blurred into one and I am finding my way out
of this labyrinth of the mind, my compass is set for true-self!

©AllysoAlly2021