And … who would we be, and how would we feel, and how would we live life … if we choose to believe that “our” God ONLY allows each of us to die “right on time.
― Tom Zuba, Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief

At times as a griever I beat myself up over what I could have, should have done to save my son, but the words of Tom Zuba’s book “Permission to Mourn” brings me back to reality……..
Drifting through seas of anguish,
on unrelenting tides,
unable to catch my breath,
I let out a cry….
“Have mercy Lord,
mercy,
I can’t stand this pain!”
Shattered in a million pieces,
going insane!
Your words sprung out and rescued me
from dark pits of despair;
I stumbled into a knowing,
and whispered in silent prayer.
“Forgive yourself for failing;
failing
to see the signs,
for only God appoints
the hour,
the day,
and the time”
I heard you say there was nothing,
nothing I could do,
to prevent the death
of my son,
and all that he went through!
In an instant
I realized
that I should trust his soul
forever my teacher,
guiding me to be whole.
I miss his face,
I miss his laugh,
I miss his physical form,
on pitch dark nights
I stare out,
hoping to weather this storm.
I’ve seen a glow on the horizon,
evidence
that he still exists.
I’m surrounded by hosts of Angels,
bestowing
sacred gifts…..
©AllysoAlly2018
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