Posted in a remembrance

Three years…

I’ve had a few hard days, and some have bumped into each other and I lost track of time. Today I commemorate three years since I saw my son in physical form…

CS Lewis said “her absence is like the sky spread over everything”
and yet
I still look for you
in a knowing way,
and you are still here!
What should I believe
in times like these,
when fear is rampant
on the earth?
Should I believe
that death is the end
and you are far from me
across a chasm
Or should that part
deep inside of me
that you still exist
in a higher vibration?

And yes they look at me funny
when I say such things,
but how do they suggest
I survive
without you?
Should I go into the void
and shut myself down
and be ground into the hard
unforgiving soil of life,
or should I embrace
the knowing?

I live here on the earth plain
with humans,
in my physical body
a lower vibration state,
it’s uncomfortable
it sometimes hurts like crazy!
They don’t want to talk
about death
and I’m trying to understand,
in times like these
when death is all around
why not?

I’ve tried to make them
that it’s only in the knowing
that I can breathe,
it’s in the acceptance
of death
that I have survived…
How else
would they suggest
I live?
Gone is not a word I use
to describe you,
absence would be devastation.
It really doesn’t
feel that way!

My mother feels so far from me right now
because I once believed
the lies.
I was never allowed to explore
those unseen, mystical realms
where dead people walk
and fly
and dance
and where they are more alive
than they’ve ever been…

And yet the one they follow came alive on the third day
He rose from the dead,
and he said
we will do so much more
than he did!

Nothing makes sense to me,
if we are just
human flesh
in dense form,
let’s transcend,
and see ourselves
as spiritual beings.
That way we will be able
to drink in this holy love soup
that is all around us,
we’ll swim in it
and float in its pleasure.
We’ll become
of love
when we begin to see
the bright light on the other side…

Why can’t I talk to the dead?
When the dead
are part of me,
my ancestors DNA
brought to life in me,
yet scattered
on the oceans for eternity….

I must survive,
I must let the wind
take me
to where you are,
the currents will shift me
and alchemize my form
into light.
I will see you and you will see me
through butterfly’s eyes
and I will recognize you
in the colors
that are spread across the skies,
as I pick up
heart shaped pebbles
sent by you.
Messengers from the other side
to reassure me
that I am never alone…

Oh to catch sunlight
that has no density,
yet to feel it,
to smell fragrances
but not to hold them
in my hand.
How can they believe
you’re not with me?
Do they not know
it would be the most
unbearable suffering,
if I did not believe
that you are still here with me
guiding me,
watching over me? 


Posted in story of me

Beyond myself…

I go beyond myself
to a place
I can’t conceive,
a spiritual moment
a presence
I believe,
beyond borders,
on the other side of time,
I feel
a rhythm
a movement
that’s sublime…
where grace exists
and love is all I know,
it’s a wonder
where joy overflows,
and I can’t explain
how I came
to reside in peace,
it’s a location where
doubt is being released…
And the knowing
is built into my bones
a place
I can’t forget,
a depiction
of home… 


Posted in A tribute


In South Africa we have Parking Attendants, some call them car guards.
They are gentle men who are not able to find traditional jobs
for one reason or another, so they help with parking, carrying shopping
and keeping our cars safe.
This is Tommy, he is an amputee and he is at his station everyday
no matter the weather and he is always smiling and waving…
He is definitely a bright face on an overcast day…

Posted in courage

walk the way of dreamers..

“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”
― Rumi, Masnavi i Man’avi, the spiritual couplets of Maula

Walk the way of dreamers,
loiter with the brave,
carve your heart
on fallen trees
notice each detail…

Dance with lovers,
sing along with birds,
breathe the air of seekers,
listen to the unheard…

Hold hands
with the forgotten
befriend those
who are alone,
believe in miracles,
dabble in the unknown…

Be curious about creation,
celebrate life,
weep with those in sorrow
remind them that
they’re divine…

Have gratitude parties
in gatherings of grace
bathe in an abundance,
that fear cannot erase… 


Posted in dance

Live like it’s heaven on Earth…

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

The soft winds blow me
back to surrender,
unraveling grief
this sweet November.

on heavy footsteps
I break dry earth
I’m falling

into a gentle return!

We are the
incandescence of eternal love
a manifestation
of what is spoken of..

by the God of our understanding and celestial beings,
as endless euphonies
of what is unseen…

We came to earth
to complete a task,
to blossom in love,
to learn contrast..

Never forgetting our eternal home,
constantly guided
never alone!

And when our days come to pass,
we’ll return again
to the sacred dance…