Coming Back to life

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
― Lao Tzu
back to life

Twisted roots
of rejection,
pervaded her life with fear.
Each time
she opened
the chaos,
insanity reappeared.
She broke free from the obstacles
that held her life back.
While gazing out at the cosmos
light appeared
through the cracks.
Damaged particles
were everywhere,
floating on raging seas.
against the current,
she was
blinded by her own decrees.
The swell began to caress her
with eloquent words
of truth.
Breathing in sacred acceptance,
resentment was being defused.
She found her way through the furnace,
of not knowing herself.
Releasing wounds
from darkness
she came back
to life itself.
While inhabiting stillness,
her heart sang
compassionate songs.
She joined the celestial chorus,
one with heavenly throngs.
The stars became her followers
and the moon was her guide.
In a euphoric atmosphere,
her heart burst
open wide!



The dark side

“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.”― Brennan Manning


Dark trails of desolation
ruptured her heart,
multiple fragments,
her world was blown apart.
Crimson stains defiled
her sanguine dreams.
A soul downcast,
overcome by grief.

Tears poured in desolation;
lacerating all reason,
in the agony of life
she lost a sense of meaning.
If she could fly past the sun,
be burnt up in its rays,
succumb to her wounds
and eliminated by the blaze.
Bleeding out only came
with evanescent relief,
a momentary respite
of a soul aggrieved.

When she saw a flicker of light,
on sorrow’s nebulous shore,
she breathed a wish, an expectation,
that hope could be restored.
But the spark only lasted
one faint, single breath.
Then blackness descended
into faith’s ruinous death.

The spoils of victory
had never belonged to her.
Inhaling untold struggle,
pleasure became a blur.
As she searched the gloomy darkness
for a translucent beam,
slow annihilation reduced her,
to a noiseless scream.

She looked for the sun,
but it was eclipsed by affliction,
hidden by constant turmoil,
a loved one’s addiction.
Like a soldier defeated
in an endless war,
blood seeping from her marrow
submerged in the gore.

“Even death would be easier”
the words rang out in her head,
an escape from the madness
and the continuous dread.
“Are there happy endings?”
She asked,
still wanting to believe
that light could vanquish darkness
and empower a reprieve.

When she woke in the morning
she turned her face to the sun
a feeble glimmer of hope
that could never be undone….

“Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though for the moment you do not see.”
― Bill Wilson


A Soliloquy

do over
“I celebrated your joy, I promise, I did.
While into darkness, my afflictions slid.
Through pain and tears I heard applause.
I gleaned the cheers, I read the scores.
I glimpsed delight with visceral sight.
In my mind’s eye it still alights.
I’m sorry, so sorry for my shame.
I really am, let me try again?
If only I’d supped that warm embrace,
just for a moment, a sublime place!
In misery I’ve been submerged.
Stolen joy where despair converged.
Shame is more deadly than death.
Its venom steals my very breath.
I’m going beyond the outer edges
to acquire my own forgiving lenses.
When I emerge I pray I’ll  be free.
Somewhere, somehow, it’s my decree!”


Living large

“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.”
Hippolyte Tainethe-cat-3Blank stares,
I don’t care,
slinking through the house!

A bored cat,
fancy that!
Put away those doubts!

Awaken thee
it’s past three!
I’ll have my dinner now!

Asleep all day
come what may.
Don’t you raise that brow!

Constant dreamer,
silent schemer,
I disappear for hours!

Nature lover,
come and smell the flowers!

A wise cat,
no doormat,
alone in the trees!

Living large
and in charge,
I’m sure you will agree?

Still my hero

A Cherokee or Ojibwa chief is said to have asked his young braves, “Why do you spend your time in brooding? Don’t you know you are being driven by great winds across the sky?” Don’t you know you’re part of a much bigger pattern? But you’re not in control of it, any more than you would be of great winds. You and I are a small part of a much bigger mystery.

This is inspired by AA’s book of daily reflections;

When I think of what you’ve done
I’m plunged into deep despair
and then I remember
the place of the miraculous,
where divine souls are formed
in the beginning when it was good.
I look up at the sky and know that
together we are part of a greater thing.
I accept those glorious paradoxes
and reaffirm an inner strength,
knowing that through pain
there is growth.
When I face my darkest fears
I am given courage.
Each time we confront our own darkness
we get brought back into new light.

Love is indestructable


I’m suspended beyond rationale,
I’m gasping.
There is no reasoning
with the unimaginable,
It’s beyond assimilation!
A manic fringe on the skyline
of thinking.
A tumultuous, timeless, evolution
of division.

I’m knocking at the door of understanding
but it will not open
it’s jammed shut
I can’t go in!

Perhaps there is a cave of solitude,
a place I could hide
beyond all memory,
somewhere past substance,
as I wait for the chaos to come to pass
and fade with time!

I could become a hermit
and spend my days watching butterflies
and contemplating galaxies.
Away from the distraction of these times!

But I must be awake and conscious
in this collision of meaning.
The collective of love
will win out in the end;
the forces of nature are resolute
about these things!

Could it be a dazzling time we live in
a deer in the head lights kinda feeling
or a purging?
An emptying of all that is misguided
in Earthlings,
an evacuation of thought.

The Universe has learned the rhythm of the stars
by heart
and constantly keeps
the tides in ebb and flow.
It will not be overcome!

Like a Rocket ship to Mars
I’m hurling out consternation,
this calamity of notions.
Way, way out
beyond the Milky Way
above the known stars.
I’m letting the hollowness
and void of space
entrap the flow of dark matter
as it sucks out the energy
of disunity,
imploding it
and devouring
its destructive nature.

Let time forget its purpose
but only for an instant,
as it floats among the constellations
and returns  purposeful to unified minds
with a fusion of intention.
The harmony of molecules,
above and beyond the miraculous
the Genesis of all good things.

Created in the very beginning
to be good, very good.
A forgetfulness
of depravity
and the instability of design.
Like a turning of the tide,
a force of goodness and love,
perfection granted with just one wave
with one word.

Back to green meadows,
where peace is sublime
and the unknowing becomes evident.
Where jubilation is indestructible,
thinking is mysterious and life is lyrical.

Even the stars will shout out on that day
and the rocks will stand in praise.
Maybe the mountains will relocate
when Heaven within us finds its calling!