No seperation

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”
― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi


At early light
I wait for you,
and listen for your breath…
in motionless hours
I feel no glimpse of death…
I stare down at my coffee
where you left a trace,
I almost sense
in the half light
your perfect, expectant face!

I still cannot imagine,
my life
without you here,
I look at your photographs,
and see your favourite chair!

The journey we took together
and learned to believe
that God’s grace is sufficient
a Universe redeemed…

I’m comforted just knowing,
within light
you found your way..
In chambers of nonacceptance,
you never have to stay!

In God’s house
there are many rooms,
all furnished with love,
and of course a host of Angels,
and a flock of turtle doves…

Now you know all mysteries
and the meaning of life,
perhaps you fly on nebulous clouds,
inside God’s great design!

You’ve done your work
my beloved son,
and that’s more than most can say,
you touched the lives of hurting souls,
and those who’d gone astray!

Each night I ask you,
to come and shine your light
and take me to this kingdom
that they say is
oh so bright!
It’s filled with peace and acceptance,
and tender loving care,
freedom from all suffering
and a holy feast prepared!

“You were too young to leave me!”
I weep on dark nights,
though my heart is full
just knowing,
you’re glorious in His sight!

I know you’re not very far away
just a whisper
and a prayer,
in sacred ties that bind us,
and love beyond compare…..


Wrapped in light

“maybe death
isn’t darkness, after all,
but so much light
wrapping itself around us–”
― Mary Oliver,

bright lights

Bright light encloses me,
beckoning the way,
into new mercies,
requiring me to stay!

God’s breath sustains me,
in sorrow’s empty space,
crowds of intercessors,
bring holy embrace!

The sun looks on in silence,
each whisper of my heart,
echoed with brokenness,
sacred light cannot depart!

the earth stood still

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountaintop, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, hen shall you truly dance.”― Kahlil GibranThe Prophet

Image may contain: sky

the earth stood still
when they said
you were gone
i look through windows
to see the dawn
for his new mercies
to give
me breath
so i make sense
your death

To my beloved son

beloved son

Sometimes in the night
when I hear my phone,
I think it’s you,
that this is all just a dream,
and I’ll see your message
“I’m safe home, Mom”.
But reality blasts me back
from that hope of holding you again
to look into your blue eyes
and hear your laugh.

Then we can start again,
and talk about this journey of life together.

We’ll put up our sail
to live the breeze of awakening,
but I know now,
you’re not that far away,
just a breath
beneath my dreams!

I can see your face
shining like the noon day sun,
beyond this veil of pain
that inhabits my body.

And I can see the moon
spying through the curtain of my window
and your bright light glows within my heart,
this night,
when I ask for peaceful sleep,
but words keep me awake
and my eyes are dry!

I think of all the things they said
out loud,
in halls of admiration.
I hope that you can hear those words
and your wounds are healed!

I will cling so tight to those who know this pain
and let my pride be stripped away,
that those who can’t feel love
will know the power of the Divine

I’m going with this flow
and letting the heartache keep me alive,
even though I want to die,
and for you,
just for you,
I’ll be a better person.
I’ll share the tragedy of this loss,
I’ll wear it on my wounded flesh
and seek out Angels to consol me.

The night grows dark,
and I can’t see your face,
though the moon still peeps
at my sorry form,
and lights the night as best it can,
to let me know that
I am being watched over,
even in the small hours,
when no soul stirs!

Upon this bed I lie
with broken heart in hand,
ready now to give it back to You my Lord,
to keep for all my days,
that are numbered here!

I must love as fiercely as I can,
for you my son,
to hold your memory forever in my soul,
to honour you,
and all that you have been.
To release you to the Angels,
for safekeeping,
so I can rest on dreams of you.
Now you are gone from my sight,
but never forgotten,
tattooed for always on my broken heart!

When He came that night to take you,
He told you about paradise,
and green fields where lilies grow,
and waters so sweet,
and you flew to Him,
you did not hesitate,
because the love and light was so strong
so irresistible!

What could you say
how could you turn away from such belonging,
such magnificent grace,
and in one moment your soul was free!

I will wait for you to come and tell me in my dreams
about paradise.
I will be forever grateful that you were lent to me for this time,
to love,
and even though it was too short,
how could I not let you go,
to be with Him,
to run in fields chasing butterflies,
and to wear a chain of daisies in your hair
and sing the song from your soul
in sweet euphonies
to be heard by the Angels!

This banquet set before you,
to drink of love
and eat at the table of your dreams!

I will let you go
to soar above the azure sky,
and you will look down on me this night,
and watch me sleep,
a slumber of peacefulness,
with no fear or dread grasping my heart,
in dead of night!

And I will forgive those
who wish to harm this peace,
they flay about in unconsciousness!

For this flow has taken me on paths of surrender,
and even in this excruciating pain
I’m found!

I’m surrounded.
The army of Angels is at my door,
evaporating any evil force that wants to have its way.
Those who wish to harm this peace
will flee without a word from me,
because higher powers are at play this night.
Supernatural forces
that hold me in love’s embrace!

I wanted you to know this enlightenment,
upon this earth,
to taste the salty sea,
and hear the chorus of birds every morning,
and see the brilliance of the forest at twilight,
and grow to love the air you breathe!

This was not to be,
but how do I know?
Maybe you have seen more than I ever hoped you’d see,
and actually you have broken into the light
that fills the darkened void!
How do I know the places you have been to
in these few days,
since I said goodbye!

And as I watch the moon cross my window,
I ask for sleep,
in fact I beg,
so that the memories of you
can go to sleep
with me in peace!

How can it be that I know such peace
at this time of loss?
Words can’t explain this peace that passes understanding!

And I can hear your voice right now
as clear as day saying
“You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Mom
I’m safe home now!”


Surrender is not a weakness, it is a strength. It takes tremendous strength to surrender life to the supreme – to the cosmic unfolding!
angels 4

Hold me in this moment and occupy me there.
Don’t let toxic notions disrupt or interfere.

Keep me in a place of peace and never let me go.
Cultivate love within me, to cause an overflow!

To providence I surrender and all that it entails,
my breath brings me higher,
to love and grace inhaled!