Posted in Surrender

Planted in eternity’s soil.

“They tried to bury us, they didn’t know we were seeds.”
― Dinos Christianopoulos

I keep my brave face on
but memories gush forth
from my eyes.
I’m no deaths head at a feast
but between the lines
I’m no hero either!
I feel anger
I get hurt
and when no one listens
I feel misunderstood.

But in me
there’s a spirit
that cannot die,
there’s an awareness
that flies in the face of grief,
It reaches down
it holds a space,
it’s the love
that cannot be replaced.

I’ve seen you through
a butterfly’s eyes,
that tender touch
that no one sees,
I pretend to be alright,
but secretly I’m broken,
secretly I weep
for all the dreams that died.

But Jah knows
and the angels call me worthy.
There are sweet songs
of surrender on my lips
and my tears water the grounds
of what I’m yet to become..
holy seeds sprouting
in eternity.. 

Posted in Surrender

My constant Muse…

“I am so grateful that surrender had taught me to willingly participate in life’s dance with a quiet mind and an open heart.”
― Michael A. Singer, The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection

The distant mountains
carved out blues,
reflections of
my constant muse…
I waded down
to the water’s edge
and from the banks
the herons pledged
to teach me
to gently glide
and flow…
to be unruffled
in times of woe…

In the everglades
hidden away,
I unearthed an anointing on this day…

I’ve been doing the surrender experiment for a few years,
but every now and then I forget and start trying to control things again,
then I go out and get re-taught by birds and butterflies!

©AllysoAlly2021

Posted in Surrender

Escape…

“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”
― Ram Dass

It was an existential crisis,
a sign of the times,
like a reed in the wind
I was blown every which way,
unable to take hold of earth’s loveliness,
like I usually do!

I wanted to find
that elusive escape button
so that I could pretend
that there is nothing  
wrong with the world
or with me.
I was questioning everything,
and for an instant
believing nothing!

You know that feeling,
when you wonder if anything
is actually real
or is being alive just a figment
of your imagination?

Like being outside of your body and seeing an unfamiliar person!

It wasn’t in the pages of a book
or a movie
that I found
the remedy
that brought the magic back.

the mind has its own will
and being stubborn by nature
it goes on a loop, a never-ending cycle
without my permission
pulling me under
until I can no-longer breathe!

It was a glimpse,
a word,
maybe a phrase,
an ah-ha moment,
when I realized I was writing my own story again
before it even happened,
but without a happy ending.
A futuristic novel based on bad evidence
mixed with lashings of self-doubt,
an incoherent babble,
with an apocalyptic ending
where everything falls
entirely apart!

Maybe it was an angelic message
or an intervention of some kind,
an… “alright already, enough!”

I tend to do that,
I tend to make up stories,
some true, but mostly false,
telling myself I’m ugly or useless.

I don’t know where they come from,
they occupy an old groove
in an over-played
worn-out recording?

Not my original earth-song,
spoken to me by Jah,
sung to me by the angels
made in the sacred light of stars
written by the Time Lords
given to me to carry through eternity…

It’s quite overwhelming not to believe in oneself,
it’s like being stuck in quicksand,
and all around there’s a quagmire
of doubt sucking me down,
into a horrible state of powerlessness!

I’m sitting it out now
letting the last fragments of doubt dissipate
the madness runs through my blood
and bleeds out…
I’m watching the rush of waters
as I wait for the moon to pull the tides out…

I promise I’ll try not rage against the storm
even when I see it coming from a distance…

instead I’ll open my eyes
and my heart
and let the light filter in
and I’ll keep on keeping on…

I’ll see those steps before me,
I will admit I’m powerless,
I’ll believe that my Higher Power can restore me to sanity,
I’ll turn over my will to the God of my understanding,

And I’ll surrender….

©AllysoAlly2021

Posted in Surrender

You let me fall…

reflections of love

You let me fall
into deep reflection,
when words
were not enough,
holding me when
my voice faltered,
and I came undone…

You brought me back
over uneven
pathways,
when I was too frail
to stand,
speaking love
into the silence,
you showed me
the promised land…

And in gatherings
of heartbreak,
you collected
every tear,
keeping them
in jars of kindness,
like treasured souvenirs…

©AllysoAlly2020

Posted in Surrender

Scatterings of repose…

wild geese 2

In scatterings of repose,
where loveliness strolls,
I lingered near the lake,
a halcyon escape,
down pathways untrodden,
where strife had been forgotten…
In quags where grace compels,
and mindfulness dwells… I surrendered to the peace
in groves of wild geese,
and true serenity reclined
in wetlands
and boggy shrines…

©AllysoAlly2020

Posted in Surrender

Papillon…

“You were born a child of light’s wonderful secret— you return to the beauty you have always been.”
― Aberjhani

forest butterflies

He emerged from his pupa at the end of time
when reasons don’t matter,
and words don’t rhyme…
and out of the brooding, where darkness restores,
he felt resurrection deep down in his core…

the summer of love beckoned
and trees stood tall,
he soaked in the awakening
where light beings are called…

and the forests whispered while the seas roared,
he danced to tempos of one accord…

he had left the winter of his discontent,
and landed in pastures where love augments…

and from his chrysalis where dreams are made
he stepped into his beauty,
he was unafraid…

image courtesy of PixaBay
©AllysoAlly2020

Posted in Surrender

Monday blues…

“Blessed be the longing that brought you here
And quickens your soul with wonder.”
― John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

blue monday

The distant mountains
carved out blues,
reflections of
my constant muse…
I waded down
to the water’s edge
and from the banks
the herons pledged
to teach me
to glide
with the ebb and flow…
to be unruffled
in times of woe…

In the everglades
hidden away,
I unearthed an anointing of this day…

©AllysoAlly2020