Blue monday

The song of blue
radiates in my heart.
How can it be sad?

It’s cool reflection
eases me,
delights my eyes!

There’s peace
and love
and tranquility there…..

Country Bazaar

Every year in October we venture out to a small village bazaar in the country. It is a happy affair with a quartet playing light music (boeremusiek) and a feast of stalls filled with enticing goodies. There is candy floss and sweets for the kids and home baked cakes, biscuits, rusks and bread for the discerning shopper.

Today it was raining but that didn’t seem to put anyone off, and the long queues snaked in front of the tents. We squelched through the mud to get to the stalls.

People turned up in wellington boots, carrying bright umbrellas.

They pulled out all the stops to entice us into the breakfast hut, with a lovely arrangement of flowers outside for decoration.

I loved the pudding tent, with delicious treats hidden inside. I drifted in and almost felt like Alice in wonderland as the delights said “eat me”!

We went home carrying parcels of fresh meat and farm vegetables, as well as some sweet temptations….

Old Photographs (part one)

Such memories
became faded pictures.
Recollecting her hopes
and sometimes
living her fears.

Looking towards tomorrow
an innocent child,
full of laughter
and brimming with dreams.

Waiting for him to return
never forgetting his face,
her Father.

He went away
to a faraway land
across the sea.
A place called America,
the land of the free
and the home of the brave.

Those big ships took him.

She waited for him
but he never came back.
He became a hopeless dream
of longing……

New Life

Our Mommy tortoise has had babies!

A dance of forgetfulness

It was a dance of forgetfulness
captured by a moment
the swirling movement
the rhythm and vibration
consumed by the melody

And then remembering
discotheque
sights and sounds
pulsating in words
speaking out loneliness
rekindling first love
sometimes
grieving love’s lost

Yet mourning turns to dancing
in an instant
of abstraction
sorrow repositions
and moves
into joy

©

Still life

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself.”
― Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

Courage

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown

There have been times when I have been afraid to tell my story. It’s mainly because of the reaction I get  from some people, thus causing me to have shame. I think it’s because I care too much what people may think of me. I know it sounds silly, but I am afraid of being judged. Feeling alone with one’s secrets is terrifying.

I would like to be more courageous.

Often when I read someone else’s heart-rendering story, it helps me feel that I am not alone in the World. I admire courage, I do not despise it.

Franklin D Roosevelt said “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” So actually if we expose our vulnerability and it thereby helps someone, we transmute our fear.

The principal of “Alcoholics Anonymous” is a sense of sharing one’s struggles and in so doing the pain lessens. In the rooms of AA people expose their vulnerability and still feel accepted and loved. I have seen more courage among addicts than anywhere else. I suppose it helps to keep things anonymous in the real thick of the battle.

Brene Brown said “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”

It is interesting that when we explore the darkness, we discover the light. Perhaps in exposing the darkness we put our hidden things into the light and that sets us free.

I would like to ask my younger self “does it really matter what people think of me and do I really have to look good?” My Mother used to say to me “we shouldn’t air the dirty family washing”! So maybe it was an old pattern I adopted from my Youth!

I would love to go forward from here and be more courageous…….

“When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realise no one was ever thinking about you in the first place!” Unknown

 

 

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

Sometimes I get stuck in unforgiveness
I find myself holding on
the grudge echoes
in remembrance of my suffering
to those the undeserving
or the oblivious
so my desire is to inflict the pain
that infests me
how wrong I am!

But is it second nature to me?
maybe it’s supernatural
should I call forgiveness out
so that it may rest on me
do I dare walk in the shoes
of the one who harmed me
will it ever be forgotten?

The capacity of forgiveness
is infinite
I will embrace it
and let it’s exquisite fragrance
heal the wounds
my prison doors
will fly open
bitterness will dissolve
as my world is put to right

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” Nelson Mandela

Dance

Today I went to our Morning Market and there were some beautiful young girls dancing.
The joy on their faces captivated me and for a little while I was swaying to the rhythm.
I would have joined them except I’m afraid of making a fool of myself.
It got me to thinking that we should dance more, no matter what age we are.
It frees us from the bonds of the earth and it makes us appreciate the present moment.
We should dance while someone is watching because then they can catch the beat with us.
This is the heart and soul of Africa!