A Soliloquy

“I celebrated your joy, I promise, I did.
While into darkness, my afflictions slid.
Through pain and tears I heard applause.
I gleaned the cheers, I read the scores.
I glimpsed delight with visceral sight.
In my mind’s eye it still alights.
I’m sorry, so sorry for my shame.
I really am, let me try again?
If only I’d supped that warm embrace,
just for a moment, a sublime place!
In misery I’ve been submerged.
Stolen joy where despair converged.
Shame is more deadly than death.
Its venom steals my very breath.
I’m going beyond the outer edges
to acquire my own forgiving lenses.
When I emerge I pray I’ll  be free.
Somewhere, somehow, it’s my decree!”

©2017