Love is stronger than death

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted!”

love still exists
A cruel expanse beckons
the silent mourner.
Stars have lost their glimmer
and the moon is out of reach.
Within a mind adrift,
beneath despair,
devouring waves gather.
Dreams swallowed whole
by ghostly darkness,
magnify the pain.
Empty hallways groan in anguish.
Bereaved souls
caught up in fierce
whirlwinds of affliction.
They are one with what can never be,
grief has spilled their tears
and gobbled their tomorrows.
A harmony of presence has escaped
into shadowy forms
of wickedness and malice.
Souls who have no acquaintance
with destiny
drift across the heartbreak,
wanderers in a bleak
and hopeless Universe.
In their loneliness they are consumed by waking.
But sleep is death defied.
Suffering takes its toll
on wounded hearts
gripped by fear.
The stench of hatred is
loud and intense.
Praise brings them back from the brink
of the abyss
into the resonance of living.
as songs of remembrance
ring out across eternity.
Even in a place of deep and unnatural darkness
when life evanesces,
Love still exists……

©2017

You Lived

“maybe death
isn’t darkness, after all,
but so much light
wrapping itself around us–”
Mary Oliver, Owls and Other Fantasies: Poems and Essays
lights 2
You were
full of despair
the night
you crashed
your car.
Your lover
had just died
and you couldn’t
bear the thought
of going on
another minute
without him.
You wanted
to die too.
But you lived.
You lived to
show us what
beauty looks like
from the inside
with soft spoken
words
and a smile
that lights up a room.
I know that
many times
you wish
you’d died
because you
were left
with so much
grief
and your form
was changed
and bent
and hurt.
But you lived.
You lived to show
us how to occupy
deep gratitude,
even through the pain.
You remind
us each day
what beauty
looks like from
the inside
with soft spoken
words
and eyes
that have known
great sorrow,
yet they still shine!

Mother’s Day

“You count the hours you could have spent with your mother, it’s a lifetime in itself.”
Mitch Albom, For One More Day

maryMemories frozen in time…..
It’s been thirty years since I looked
on your beautiful face.
I’ve changed.
I’ve evolved.
Would you recognize me now?
Your love made me strong.

It was hard growing into womanhood
without you,
without your guiding light
to lead me out of my darkness.
Many times I begged you to come back
and wipe away my tears
You’ve been dancing with the Angels
for so long now,
you probably know
all the latest dance moves!

You escaped the bonds of this Earth
before I was ready
to let you go.
Maybe one day I’ll gaze once more
into your lovely blue eyes,
and you’ll teach me to fly…..

©2017

Transcendence

“To recognize one’s own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence.”
Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

wild things
I stood on the river bank, in silence,
waiting….
beside the cool waters.
Under the shade of parental suffocation.

The waters seemed timid,
almost a trickle,
an easy swim to the other side….
As I jumped into the water, a torrent came.
I was unprepared.
The mud on the bank was sliding
and the waters became quite cloudy.

I was consumed….
and then taken under,
into the depths.

The monsters below knew me,
they welcomed me in silence,
as if it were my home.

At first the asphyxiation was not apparent
and it eased me into submission…

On looking up, I could still see light..
the light of my understanding,
but I could not get to the light!

The waters surrounded me, they held me hostage,
it became my prison.
The monsters of the deep were serenading me, blinding my eyes..
slowly shutting me off from the light,
the light of my understanding..

I remember the shore from where I had come,
I remembered the choking,
the acquiescence.
I had learnt how to hold my breath on that shore,
but I hadn’t seen the sun in the deep shade of my parental home.
I had always longed for the son!

As the waters took me deeper
I was enveloped in darkness.
The light became a mere speck in the distance.
I let the creatures hold me,
comfort me.

I knew no other self, only the shadow self.

Then at the bottom where consciousness was almost lost,
I saw my own reflection
and at first I didn’t recognise it.
It had grown ashen and grotesque….

But even in the deep, You were always with me,
trying to pull me upward.
The coldness had numbed my senses and pain had made me succumb to darkness…

I was alone when You came, not creature stirred that evening.
Your light came to find me,
in the twilight,
to find my shadow self,
and I knew that You had been there, since the foundation of the earth.

You taught me to stand on the distant shore, in the bright sunshine.
You let me look at the cascading waters, from the other side,
You let me touch my sorrow!

I saw great beauty in the crystal waters, even through the insanity.
My senses came to life,
it was my transformation!

I began to gulp deep breaths of emancipation,
I began to soar a little
and to live in the light,
the light of my understanding.
My true home, my authentic self.

I can still see the home of my parental affliction,
in the distance,
beyond time……

But I’m learning to exhale in the light of my own transfiguration.
I’m learning to transcend my shadow self.

It’s been a long journey and I’m nearly home……
I’m trying to dream while I’m awake,
and keep watch while I’m asleep.

 

©2017

Monday Melancholy

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

happiness 2
I’m lost,
astray in fields of melancholy,
unable to find the gateway
back to happiness!

I’ve misplaced
equanimity
but not
the visions of love
deeply planted in my
consciousness.

I know serenity is found
in silence.
Yet my thoughts pulsate,
they meander down
into a darkened
perspective.

I’m transfixed by
inexplicable
gloominess!

I grimace in the darkness!
Hope is a distant speck.
I can see it,
a fleck of light in pitch dark.
It’s all the light
I need…

to find my way back
to where the oceans sparkle
and noisy birds interrupt
my melancholy.

I’ll languish awhile
in this murky pool
of self pity.
But not too long,
to let it take hold
and make me bitter!

Perhaps I need
some antidote,
a sweetened balm,
some other perspective
to jolt me out of these
doldrums.

In the meantime
I’ll cherish the silence
consume some sunshine,
and stay aware of gratitude!

Sadness is the opposite
of joy.
Maybe,
I’m
just
Looking
at it from
¡dn ʎɐʍ ƃuoɹʍ ǝɥʇ

©2017

I’m Human

“We are star stuff harvesting sunlight.”
Carl Sagan

I'm human
I’ve known a place where lies
were born and lived
in deep remembrance.
It was a place too fearful for expression.
It required perfection,
it demanded falsehood.
Looking good was more
important than being human.
It was a place of hypocrisy
and truth was buried in deceitful graves.

I ran from that place
and found my own vulnerability,
my own dark cave of humiliation.
Pretence had weighed too heavy
and had eaten me alive.
I grew to know my imperfection.
I was flawed beyond reason.
I lived like a death row inmate
waiting to end the misery
of my defective identity.
Perhaps I did die
to that false self
to those destructive beliefs
because
now
I’m in love with truth
I celebrate imperfection
I embrace vulnerability.
I think
I’m actually
human!

©2017

Quiet Seclusion

“I rest in the grace of the world, and I am free.”
Wendell Berry, The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry

quiet seclusion

I long to sojourn in quiet seclusion
with only the stars for light,
and soft moss for my bed
My friends will be happy birds,
who only speak the language of love.
The bright sun will awaken me at dawn
and I will drink the dew of morning.
The trees will shade me from
the intensity of the noonday sun.
Their leaves will bristle
when the wind picks up
and softly brush the silence.
All nature will keep me company.
I won’t feel alone in such majesty
as I ponder creation and all its glory.
I will remember a life simply lived,
when berries fed an empty belly
and the dark earth
brought forth sustenance.
Sorrow will not be found
among the dancing leaves.
When I touch the
floor of the forest in worship,
I will allow miniature creatures
to penetrate my silence.
This place of forgetfulness
will occupy my being.
The expanse of the entire Universe
will be known to me
and I will observe that I’m wonderfully made.
The nights will bring restfulness
to my weary wanderings.
I’ll count stars instead of sheep
and feel the blanket of darkness
gently cover me.
The night birds will serenade me
and calm my restive soul.

©2017