Recently, the mouth of our river was manually breached.
It was holding back flood-waters,
the stench was growing,
people on low-lying lands were afraid…
it had to be released!
Though some sea life was lost with the flow,
the relief was palpable.
It made me think of my own bottled-up pain.
I may seem happy
but inside I’m broken.
I search the skyways
and highways for you
I look at the stars
and hope you’ll shine on me.
The world sometimes dims
to an unbelievable low,
I can hardly see through the mists of my mind.
your memories are etched
into every particle of my being.
You belonged to me once
before madness came into the world
and turned it upside down.
When love really was enough!!
I dance when I’m broken open
I dance through this pain.
When twilight descends
and I’m completely soaked through with sadness.
I reach into my brokenness
and breathe in the sweet sounds of evening…
The night-birds usher me back to beauty,
bullfrogs return me to praise!
Sometimes I cry at first light,
letting the waters of heaven rush through me
so I can flow again with the winds
and ride again on tides of hope…
At dawn, I have thoughts that won’t let me be,
they startle me
their wounding is real!
Like invaders waiting at the door
I get ambushed by grief.
Words have legs they carry me back to moonrise,
they fly with me to the sun…
Sometimes they saturate me in favor,
other-times they sting me to death…
I must give them credence
for they have the power to hurt me beyond recognition.
I must let them out
or they will hold me hostage.
I will release them as tears, to spring forth from the deep
and go back to where love overflows…
I can’t catch my tears or hold them,
they must fuse with the ether
and return to heaven,
to be gathered and kept forever in jars,
until I too shall return…
They are my memories,
they come from my inner being
and like floodgates opening
they water arid lands of sorrow …
And for just a tiny moment I will wallow in pity,
I will cry out at what has been lost,
Yet I will still bathe in the beauty of what is…
I am forever hoping to be emptied of the sorrow
that lives inside me…
But I know my tears must return,
for grief must speak volumes
otherwise, love would not be visible…