Posted in Thinking out loud

Bravely glowing

“And when we come to search for God, Let us first be robed in night, Put on the mind of morning To feel the rush of light Spread slowly inside The color and stillness Of a found world.”
― John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Invocations and Blessings

particles of light

Besieged by memories and images of woe,
I let them move
and I watch them flow…

In moments of terror,
when life is opaque,
in death’s dark valley…my emotions quake.

Many moons of sorrow, of locust swarms,
untold suffering
harbingers warned,
the scattering of beings
into translucent dust
where radiance gathers and substance combusts.

Beyond foreboding
across gossamer veils
illuminated guides
on coherent trails,
where particles hover
and faith ignites
they bravely glow,
in relationship with light…





I am an unknown introvert who desires to touch the world with a little bit of magic...

13 thoughts on “Bravely glowing

  1. in tiny fragments, the light penetrates your sadness, I love the book you quoted from, I read it almost everyday, a treasured gift in my time of grief. in its the moments I dread the most Ally, and I see you write about that so well here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s coming up to a year since my son changed worlds and I find myself bombarded with unwanted thoughts, as if my mind has a will of its own. I’m letting it happen as naturally as I can and honoring him at the same time. xxxxxx

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      1. I have them all the time, and usually can overcome but there are days i am floored. Know that you are not alone, ever, that someone will come lift you up, from out of nowhere, because our sons do love us, they will send help when we need it. I struggle with ways to honour him, I wrote a poem and want to post it but it seems so weak and will not do justice to him, maybe one day, it is still hard to accept I suppose, even after all these months. You honour your boy beautifully, you express your love for him so tenderly, you are a good mother Ally. I can feel so much love from you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for your kind words, Gina. They say it’s quite normal to be floored and we should let it flow, though it’s so difficult, the pain is sometimes unbearable. I have such a strong sense that they are sending us messages of love all the time, we just have to learn to recognize them. Acceptance is the hardest part and I sometimes wonder if I am in denial, I just don’t feel that he is gone. It is a strange feeling, but very reassuring. sending you much love and light xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know I need to be still to hear him. It;s just that we sued to talk so much with each other the silence is unbearable now. And I cannot even start to talk about how much it hurts, I distract myself with other things. Like you, I am not sure if it is denial or just trying to cope with him not being here physically, he is in my heart all the time, I feel his presence. And i know you feel your boy’s too. We will get our hearts around this Ally, we will. I promised I would let him go, I have felt him ask me this repeatedly and I feel I am getting there step by step. He watches over me, my Joshua, and I know your Steve does the same for you. Take care Ally and know that love surrounds you.

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      4. Thanks Gina,
        They are watching over us in ways we can’t begin to imagine.
        My motto this year has been “Be extra gentle with yourself”, and I have tried my utmost to do that and surround myself with people who make me happy.
        And celebrate his life with my other son. 🙂

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      5. I forget some days I need to nurture my other kids and that they are grieving too, but it is so different for each one of us, what holds us together is exactly that, that we want to celebrate his life. I wish you gentle days Ally, it is not easy to practice that, I understand the need to be hard on ourselves to just dull some of the pain we feel. But it gets a little lighter every day I hope, I wish you lots of happy moments with your son as you celebrate life together.

        Liked by 1 person

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