Looking for the light

I stand here alone, on the outskirts of all hope. I dwell in the open plains of desolation, looking in, almost afraid to breathe. I try not to feel, because the pain goes so deep.

You cannot see my vantage point; it is on the edge of the Universe, where the darkness is touching the light.

I’ve lost touch with who you are, my mind cannot reconcile that happy, loving being with the anger in you now. I pray for strength, I pray for tomorrow, even when today is not yet finished.

Pieces of me float around in outer space, as if I’ve been blown apart.

I keep trying to bring myself back to earth, and I try to listen to the happy sound of birds in the early morning and feel the gentleness of the breeze in the evening. All feeling gets extinguished in that moment when insanity prevails; my survival is at stake now!

Each time you throw yourself into reckless abandonment, a little piece of me dies inside. I cannot help the anguish that overwhelms me. Does God not cry at the suffering of his children?

I am waiting for the resurrection to come, when all things will be made right. I don’t even know if I believe anymore!

It’s only in the depths that I know there is a God, only in the places where the wild things go, that there is a Savior.

My vigil is standing watching the light; holding on to what is sacred. Hope fades when weariness sets in and days become continuous night.

Sometimes I stand brokenhearted on the shores of yesterday, I cannot hear the ocean. My being is motionless and the dull ache of sadness has paralyzed me.

The lightness of the sky is my tomorrow, the birds sweep down and they circle all around me. They can see my hollow bones.

I long to lie down in greener places and watch as light overcomes darkness. I would love the comfort of peace. If sacrifice is what it takes to heal brokenness, I would have let the atonement take me long before the madness.

Is sorrow eternal?

Can I soar above and beyond the heartbreak and see a tomorrow-land full of hope?

My vantage point has obscured my vision, blindness is my thinking.

I am broken…..almost beyond repair!